Smelterville You Later...

We headed east towards Idaho Sunday afternoon. Some where around central Washington, it was decided it was my turn to drive the Truckster. We pulled over at a rest stop surrounded by beautiful wind turbines, and after taking several photos, I put on the Captain's hat. My name? Captain Swerves-a-lot. Turns out, it's pretty god damn windy in central Washington, hence all the wind farms. So here I am trying to keep up with traffic at 65-70 miles per hour in a van about 9 times the size of any vehicle I've ever driven. This van is so tall that I can't even wash the windshield at a gas station. The power steering on the Truckster is so loose yet somehow also touchy that I have to turn the wheel back and forth at all times just to keep it going straight. Imagine an old movie scene where the character is driving, never looking at the road, and shaking the steering wheel so much that you think they must be driving on switch backs... that's what I looked like, minus the not watching the road. I was watching it like a hawk, swearing at cars and trucks who came near me, my knuckles still hurt today from my death grip on the wheel, and I might have permanent worry lines on my face. Not good. 

We finally got to Pete and Jerry's house around 11:00 pm that night. Having not seen them since 2005 when they left Alaska, we clearly had a lot of visiting to do. Visiting with Pete and Jerry in the past usually invoved munchies, beer, and Dumb Rum (Petester's drink of choice- Rum and Coke) and this time was no different. We stayed up until 2:30 that morning catching up. We left late the next day knowing only that we wanted to head in the general direction of Yellowstone National Park.

We needed to return some uneeded items we had purchased back from a Walmart in Oregon, so we pulled into a Supercenter in Smelterville, ID. I waited for about 15 minutes at the customer service line as the gentlman ahead of me cashed his paycheck. I couldn't help but notice his unusally large ears and the fact that he had written on BOTH back pockets of his jeans the words, "WORK PANTS," in black permanent marker. Like he was at some point going to mix those jeans up with his Hugo Boss three piece pinstripe suit... After a very slow return, we picked up a few things but couldn't help but notice the amazing mullets, slack bra straps, and overal lack of dentation. This is the Walmart dreams are made of.

After referring to several guide books we decided that Missoula, MT needed to be seen. Missoula provided an eclectic arrary of beggers, students, homeless young people, farmers, and hipsters. Our favorite homeless-person sign, and my new all time favorite, "Crack don't grow on trees. Ya herd me." We stopped off at the Flathead Lake Brewery for a mediocre meal and one stand out Belgian ale.  After the meal we pushed on southeast to the Lolo National Forest. The atlas showed the road into Lolo as double gray lines, which according to the legend, was an unmaintained or gravel road. We rolled into US Forestry Norton campground around 9:30 pm in the dark. No free wifi here, just one creepy campground host eating ice cream on his couch surrounded by dirty laundry in his camper. We paid the 6 whole dollars and parked as far away from the host as we could. Aside from a few chipmunks and the campground host, we were the only guests at the Norton campground.

We decided to continue on down that gravel road the next morning as it looked as though it was about 20 more miles to the state highway junction. We pulled over at a trailhead and explored the rocks and a cool suspension bridge. After passing multiple signs that said, "Narrow unmaintained road- not suitable for RVs or campers", we finally saw one that said the junction was just a short 36 miles ahead. We continued on at a speedy 25 miles per hour essentially seeing just a handful of fly fishermen and abandon homesteads. I looked at Kai and said, "Wow, I feel like we're in the middle of nowhere here." To which he replied, "That's because we are, this whole state is like the middle of nowhere." Which is sort of true, according to Wikipedia, Montana is just behind Wyoming, which is just behind Alaska in population density. They don't call it Big Sky Country for no reason, this place is just huge. The landscape and sky seem to go on forever and ever. Sort of like Alaska, except it's warm and there are cowboys here. 

After a lengthy discussion about fly fishing, (What's the freaking point? All that gear, all that tying of the flies, all that standing around for hours on end, and for what? Possibly, maybe a 2 pound trout? Which is so freaking little that you just throw it back in?!?! What is the point of this crazy River Runs Through It bullshit?) it was decided that Alaska has certainly spoiled us.


Sad that we had missed the Liard Hot Springs in Canada, we decided the short detour off I-90 to Fairmont Hotsprings Resort was in our cards. http://www.fairmontmontana.com/ Fairmont boasts both an indoor and outdoor hotsprings pool as well as a 5 story waterslide, hotel and spa. We splurged and dropped the $15.75 a piece to ride the slide as much as we wanted until we burned holes in our suits. It was about 80 degrees outside and 92.3 in the pool. We decided that this place would be undoubtedly more awesome in the winter time, but we weren't complaining. We rode the slide and got our sun tan on for a few hours before deciding to hit the road. 

Captain Swerves-a-lot at the helm again, but this time in wide open, flat southern Montana. No wind here so my hands were significantly less sweaty. I turned the cruise control on and before we knew it, we were in Idaho Falls, ID at yet another Walmart. This time to load up on groceries for our upcoming Teton/Yellowstone adventure and to buy a bigger, warmer blanket. While it's been lovely weather during the day time, we've been struggling to stay warm at night with the small blanket we brought from home. Which is weird considering the incredibly small space we call our bed. This mattress is no wider than a twin and about 10 inches shorter. I sure hope Karen Wannamaker is enjoying our old queen Serta sleeper right now... we certainly took it for granted.

Having very little camping options in Idaho Falls, ID we headed east towards Wyoming on Highway 26. Just before the 3G network cut out, Kai was able to find a campground online that was about 20 miles away. According to "the internets", Spring Creek Campground was just before the river, instead we found Falls Creek Campground. Keep in mind it's now 10:00 pm and pitch black out, and Capt. Swerves-a-lot has been driving since Montana... after 2 miles down a gravel road we saw a sign that said, "Dispersed Camping- Max Stay 5 days" with an arrow pointing to the right. We cruise, I shouldnt say cruise, we crawl, down this pot-holed, gravel road for what seems like an hour, never having seen a campround, a sign, or any numbered spots. After a while we see signs for road construction and we see abandoned cattle corals and slightly scared, we decide to turn around. I find a very small off road pull out and proceed to do a 25 point turn in our 21 foot long van on this darkened gravel road next to a river. We end up seeing this weird dirt pull through area that is near a trail head. It looks like where snow machiners might park in the winter then head up into the hills on the nearby trail. We were nervous the next morning for Ranger Rick to come tapping on our window informing us of a fine we now owed having camped in a non-designated campsite, and not paying, and trespassing. But instead we awoke to four wheelers and dirtbikers ripping down the gravel road and US Forestry dump trucks heading to the construction site. We packed up and headed back down the gravel road, made much less scary by the clear blue sky and sunshine until we reached the sign we had seen the night before. Sure enough, it just said the same bit about "dispersed camping" and dont stay longer than 5 nights.... no fee envelopes, no numbered spots, no ranger, and no outhouses. It was pretty rad, except for the anxiety we experienced about the ficticious ranger and the possible law breaking we didnt actually commit. 

Up next, the Tetons and Yellowstone...