Saturday, September 24, 2011

The Crown Jewel


Down on the Bayou

We were unable to find a pet friendly motel in the downtown area that could also accommodate parking for the Truckster's big ass, so as always, we ended up at a Motel 6 about 4 miles away. We rolled in and noticed that this Motel 6 was also in an awesome area complete with glass window and sliding money drawer. We found our room to be large and very clean, with a big grassy area where Numnuts could pee and poo freely next to I-10. 

We caught a cab into the French Quarter and with the help of our friend, Renata, who had recently been here, we set out to find the best food and drinks N' Awlins had to offer. It was only a Wednesday night in the middle of September, but this place was off the chain. Like a friendlier, more hospitable version of Vegas, NOLA had so much to offer. Gay bars, karaoke bars, piano bars, jazz bars, oyster bars, and titty bars, (that's what the sign said) there seemed to be something for everyone. 

We walked all over the French Quarter in attempt to burn some of the calories of the crazy meal we just had. The deli Verdi Marte served sides of jambalaya, mac 'n cheese, okra, beans with entrees like fried shrimp, catfish, po' boys, red beans and rice and so on. For 20 bucks we had a feast that easily could've fed 4 and two tall boy beers that we were able to take with us out on the street. It was delicious and came highly rated on Urbanspoon and recommended by locals too. 
Red Beans and Rice, Mac n Cheese, and Jambalaya

The rest of the night was a blur as we drank our way up and down the famous streets meeting new friends along the way. I woke up in the middle of the night fully dressed on top of the covers on Kai's side of the bed, which was odd because we're both pretty sure I fell asleep on the opposite side. It was pouring when we awoke the next day so we gladly nursed ourselves back to functioning level while we waited for the rain to dissipate. We decided to save some cash and take the local bus into town instead of a cab. We walked about 3/4 of a mile through a hood that evidently is still waiting on its FEMA money. Dilapidated hotels and homes lined the streets and glass and litter crunched under our feet under over passes while we walked to the stop. We found our bus driver to be one of the most friendly around, she suggested we hop on even though she was heading the opposite direction, it would be her coming back if we chose to cross the street to wait at the other stop. We decided to ride while we waited and she was chatty as she drove. We were 2 of 3 people on the bus, and my hangover was returning despite my attempt to fight it with an army of Cheladas that morning, so I closed my eyes to rest. I must of dozed off for a moment because when I woke up, the girl who played "Precious" was sitting directly in front of me yell-talking at two other girls in the seat behind us. The bus now was packed as we drove through the super-hood which surrounds New Orleans's Crown Jewel, the French Quarter. 





We got off the bus and headed straight to MRB, a self proclaimed dive bar on St. Philips Street for Bloody Marys, another recommendation from Renata. We were starving as the bus ride and walk took exactly one hour from hotel to bar, so we decided to order food as well. 2 shrimp and goat cheese tacos later, we had a new local friend and were stuffed to the gills. Kai's steak and brie flatbread sandwich could've easily been shared by a group of football players. Why do they give you so much bloody food in the south?!?!?! Do they know nothing of portion control? We attempted to walk that off as well but to no avail, we gave in and sat down at the Cafe du Monde for world famous beignets and coffee. As Renata had informed us, beignets are "a slice of powdered sugar heaven", a deep fried French doughnut-like dessert with pounds of confectioners sugar on top. 

BM

Steak and Brie Sandwich



New Orleans had a super friendly vibe and everywhere we went we were met with, "How y'all doing today?" and "Have a good evening y'all..." Actually much of Louisiana was friendly and warm. We stopped outside of Lafayette at a restaurant recently featured on Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations. This place was in the middle of nowhere, on a highway surrounded by farms and made us wonder who scouts out the restaurants for the show because this was not easy to find. I had happened upon it only because it received a 96% for on Urbanspoon in the area for Creole/Cajan style food. We pulled into Glenda's Creole Kitchen and were immediately welcomed by Glenda and her family. They were just about to close shop for the day but we were able to still get Friday's plate lunch special. She asked us to please take a tack and mark on her map of America where we were from. We were her first Alaskans, shocker I know. She was so pleased that we had stopped by to eat and we filled her in on the Urbanspoon app. She talked about how surprised she was by how much food Anthony Bourdain was able to pack away as 'he's so skinny, but he had a bit a e'rything." We could hardly make it out of there as they came running out, "Oh you forgot to try some sweet dough pie!!!" Christ, were these people ever going to stop feeding us???


We continued along through Cajun Country, stopping for cheap gas and an alligator refuge. We held baby gators and watched the handlers attempt to train the babies to feed, dive and swim. Because they were found in suburban neighborhoods separated from their mothers, these alligators have no frenching clue what to do in water. We watched a year old who acted like a cat in water, she had no idea how to dive down and no instinct to snatch up food. The larger 8 year old gator had to be tapped on the nose to get angry enough to snatch up the raw chicken the handler was holding. The trainer said if the chicken meat was just laying there the alligator would show no interest at all. The eventual goal is to get these guys to a zoo, then a transition facility where they'll be microchipped and trained to hunt live food, if they fail in the wild, they'll be returned to a refuge. Though we didn't go noodling for catfish or ride on an air boat, the visit to the Gator Refuge satisfied our swamp land experience and we pushed on toward Texas. Yeehaw.





Lindsay's Favorite Night


A local Savannah magazine had directed us to a beach park outside of Jacksonville, FL which was evidently "a great getaway."  However, the "lake" had signs that prohibited feeding the gators, raccoons, possums, and birds. So swimming was out. And so was sun bathing on the short, littered beach where the waves and rip current pounded the shores. After seeing a young man in a baseball cap and cowboy boots on the sand, we decided to leave to head to the other "great getaway" mentioned in the mag.

We pulled into Tomoka State Park, just 9 miles north of Daytona Beach on the eastern coast of Florida. It was lush and jungle like and I even, yes I, spotted a wild boar on the road on the way in. According to Ranger Dave, aka Ranger Beardo due to his full face ginger beard, the pigs were wild and ferrel and a huge problem throughout Florida. They recreate like mice and eat everything in sight and can get as big as 300 pounds. Other things lurking here at Tomoka were snakes, bobcats, possums, black bears, coons, armadillos, birds, and bugs, oh my. We made chili and ate outside, later we played dice and cards by lantern at our picnic table. Joining us were cockroaches, ants, mosquitoes, and giant stick bugs (a name we came up with for the large bugs that look just like sticks). During a mean game of UNO, Lindsay said that this was her favorite night on the trip so far, camping in the warm jungle instead of looking at more historical buildings and museums. We all agreed we were pretty burnt out from the East Coast Tour de Force old houses, old plantations, old squares, old boats, old buildings, old monuments, old statues, and so on... 



Brandon and Lindsay set up camp with our tent and sleeping bags and annoyed with all the bugs we decided to hit the hay. It was sooooo hot, sooooo humid that you could hardly breath in the van. I refused to open the windows as I had already about 8 new mosquito bites and wasn't planning on getting more. Brandon and Lindsay removed the rain fly on the tent because the heat was so intense. After about an hour of laying in our midget bed, sweating, and angry, the rain began to fall. It rained and rained and rained. Kaylee came back to our bed whining, afraid of the loud thunder and lightning. Shortly after settling her in, water began to drip on us. The rain was so powerful that the seals on the rear doors to the van couldn't keep it out. Rain dripped down through the fan above Kai's side of the bed also. We shut the vent and water still flowed. Screw it, at least it was cooler. I opened all the windows and wondered what the hell Brandon was doing outside of the tent, naked and flapping the rain fly around. I didnt have my glasses on and he didnt seem to be swearing, not that you could hear much over the thundering rain. The mattress and our top sheet was drenched in 2 areas when we awoke the next morning. So were the clothing I had hung out to dry on the line Kai made for me. So was our tent and sleeping bags and all of Brandon and Lindsay's clothing they had used as pillows. There was a river created by the rain that had flowed under the van and directly into the tent. Floating in about 3 inches of water was Brandon's water bottle and our sleep pads. Lindsay had given up mid-night and slept in the car, while Brandon slept in the pool, happy to be cooled off. The rain fly was no match for the storm, sheesh, the van wasnt even water tight. We planned on renting canoes and kayaks and checking out the area which was heavily populated with gators and manatees but the rain soon returned. We were completely soaked by the time we got the tent, wet laundry, and chairs and cooler loaded. We went to breakfast still drenched and then to a laundromat to get what we could dry.

Swimming Pool Tent

It's Like a Shower from Nature



We drove on through Orlando and to Tampa Bay where it was hot and dry. We looked like super Alaska hillbillies as we set up our tent, camp chairs and clothing in the parking lot of the Motel 6. Kai unloaded the two action packers filled with gear that ride on our hitch rack and nearly broke his back. Gallons and gallons of water poured out of the pack containing all of our rock climbing gear. Mold was actually growing on Kai's backpack and the gear reaked like must. To top it all off, the propane in the fridge ran out around this time as well creating an oven out of the fridge in the 90 degree heat. We were able to salvage most of the food and keep it on ice in coolers while we search for propane.

But we had plenty of beer, a skeezy motel room, a pool, and we were about a mile's walk away from Busch Gardens Theme Park. We bought our tickets online the night before and got a great deal on a dining pass as well. This pass allowed us entry to the park as well as all we could eat all day AND half off alcohol. All for just 8 bucks more than a regular admission ticket! It was a gluttonous day as we ventured from ride to ride, restaurant to restaurant, and bar to bar. Although the weather report had called for thunderstorms, it was bright, sunny, and hot all day. Which was good because everyone had shut down my garbage bag poncho idea back at the hotel. But, as it turns out, we didnt need them. We actually wanted to get wet, riding log rides and river rapids over and over again to stay cool. While there were less thrill rides than Cedar Point in Ohio, it was such a better organized and themed park. There was an African theme throughout the park including a zoo, each section representing a different area such as the Sahara or Kenya or Morocco. We saw elephants, tigers, impala, rhinos, giraffes, zebras, and tropical birds to name a few. I still needed throat lozenges at the end of the day because of screaming so much and I easily gained 10 pounds from eating all I could eat and half off beers. Drenched from our last River Rapid ride, we walked soggily down Busch Avenue back to the Motel 6.

We relaxed in the ghetto fabulous pool for a while before retiring in the room to watch a movie and sleep. Brandon and Lindsay had one more park to hit up, Universal Studios back in Orlando so Brandon could see his favorite, Harry Potter World. We said goodbye early that morning so they could get to the park when it opened, I asked Lindsay if Tomoka State Park night was still her favorite of the whole trip. I think not. I think that may have just been the worst camping trip they'd ever been on. We were in the Truckster and it still sucked super hard. While Brandon played Quidditch all day in Orlando, we headed up Florida's Gulf Coast New Orleans bound.


Friday, September 23, 2011

Squeal Like a Piggly Wiggly

Brandon has decided that waiting for the FAA to get their shit together has simply taken too long. He is moving to Georgia to take a position with Piggly Wiggly.

Savannah vs. Charleston

The hype was out. We'd been told by so many people, "Ohhhh you're gonna love Savannah!" and "Ohhhhh Charleston is great, you're gonna love it!" So of course we had to see both.

First up, Charleston. Lindsay and Brandon had a room booked in the historic district on Meeting Street. While it was a pet friendly hotel, we sort of failed to mention that we had a crazy 87 pound mutt with us so as to not be stuck in a smoking room and be charged extra. No one seemed to care much, but EVERYONE definitely noticed Kaylee. Charleston wasn't the most pet friendly town, if anyone did have a dog, it was toy sized. KK was clearly the largest animal on the road next to the giant horses pulling tourists in carriages. So large in fact that people stared at us everywhere we went, not only did they stare but I heard the word, "wolf" mentioned several times. Kaylee hated Charleston, it was loud, people were staring and talking about her, and there was virtually no open grassy areas. Kai and I took turns walking her for hours in the hot sun and crowded streets looking for signs of other dogs doing their bidness to no avail. 



We headed to the beach in the morning to get our tan on. It was overcast but still incredibly hot and humid and the Atlantic was calling. In the ocean, there were tons of tiny herring-like fish jumping in the waves close to shore. As I returned to my towel to get caught up with what idiot Kate Gosselin and her brood are doing now, Brandon, Kai, and Linds headed out into slightly deeper water. I heard screams and laughter shortly there after and looked up to see all three of them running out of the water toward the beach. It was the same sort of giggle-scream Simon Pegg did when he looks up and realizes that his roommate was a zombie in the movie Shaun of the Dead.  If you haven't seen the film, might we suggest that you do, not only to get the reference, but also because it's hilarious. So, the three of them came running toward me slightly out of breath and half-laughing. At first I thought they were lying to just to scare me, but as the story continued it was clear that they had just had an encounter with a SHARK!!!! After a while on the iPhone, it was determined that they had likely spotted an Atlantic black tip shark jumping up out of the water as it preyed on the small silver fish. Sharp nosed and white bellied, these sharks like to kick it about 30 feet from the shore feasting on schools of small fish and possibly juicy ankles which is why I wont be going in the ocean any time soon! Maybe KK sensed the danger her owners were in, or maybe she just hated being left alone in a strange hotel room in the middle of downtown Charleston, but upon returning to the room I found 3 separate giant piles of puke on the floor. She hated Charleston so badly that she was rejecting her food, she also hadn't pooped in 2 days. Yikes.

Jaws
In the evening we walked about a mile down the main drag to a Thai restaurant recommended by a friend of Lindsay's who used to live in Charleston. Window shopping along the way we began to register all the old money in this town. 20-somethings cruised up and down King Street in high heels and dresses and almost all the guys had that horrible, Southern Beiber hair. You know the hair... it's a long, shaggy, and sort of brushed across their foreheads sometimes accessorized with a ball cap or worse yet, a visor. At the restaurant we were shocked to see that our waiter was a friend of a friend of Lindsay's. Rod and Lindsay had just attended their mutual friend Elena's wedding in Greece just months ago together, and now here we all were in Charleston at Basil restaurant. We then discussed how applicable the saying, "It's such a small world!" is, and also how much my brother hates that term. 


Later on our own pub crawl of Charleston we ended up at a country bar styled much like Coyote Ugly. They lured us in with their 2$ beer specials and before long, Lindsay and I were on the bar up against a third woman in a hula hoop contest. Lindsay won the competition as she was able to keep the hoop up the longest, however, I received a little louder applause. When we returned to our table Kai pointed out that this was likely due to the fact that I was hula hooping on a bar, while in a dress, with about 8 dudes sitting under me. Right. After our free shots for voluntarily embarrassing ourselves, we moved on by foot. We met more locals and saw a lot more of Charleston's bars and clubs. The next day I sifted through my phone for clues of the night before and found that I had some new Facebook friends and some not so great photos:

Meeting new people


Making friends
One of my new friends on Facebook



We decided to head straight to the beach outside of Savannah before hitting the city. We paid our tolls and met up on Hilton Head Island where there were some dog friendly beaches. We loaded up towels and fresh water for the dog and brought her down to the ocean. No jumping fish or shark sightings here... just small crashing waves which seemed to confuse and annoy the dog. The boys played frisbee and we swam and waded and played a game of dice on the beach before packing up and heading in to the historic downtown Savannah. 



Hot Dog
Lindsay had booked a cool, retro themed motel within walking distance of the historic district. Just across from the Greyhound Bus station and according to my mother, the location of a recent murder in the parking lot, it had a large grassy area behind the motel and was super pet friendly. The rooms were clean and the lobby had friendly faces, dog treats, coffee and juice, and oldies blasted on the outdoor speakers. 
Parking for Hipsters Only


We headed out on foot to check out the city and look for ghosts. Savannah had a very distinctly different vibe from Charleston. To get to the waterfront from our hotel, we had to pass the arts college and several dorms and apartments filled with the young, Southern hipsters that cover the city like ants. All I could think of was a slogan we saw over and over in Thailand, "Same Same but Different". I'm not sure if this is what they meant, but it totally applied here in Savannah. These little urban hipsters tried so very hard to look different with their unique style, eyeglasses or hats, cruiser style bicycles and long board skateboards, that they all in fact looked exactly the same. White and privileged, many looked too young to be on the street smoking and drinking as they were. Married and in our 20s and 30s, we felt a little out of place and generally perturbed by these brats. The good thing is that while in the historic district of Savannah, you can walk with liquor much like in New Orleans or the Vegas Strip. So, that we did. 

Ooooooooo


We walked for some time searching for a BBQ joint that was literally a hole in the wall of an alley. We attached ourselves to the ass end of ghost tours that walked near us, trying to get ourselves scared but it was too difficult to hear the guide from our stand point. A siren abruptly went off 2 streets over and Lindsay and I shrieked like children. We eventually found the BBQ house, which was shut down. Probably because it was so frenching hard to find and the surrounding area is haunted. 



We ended up at a Tex-Mex type joint that had yet to receive its liquor license, and was open late for the drunks on the main drag. The owner was really nice and chatty, but I hadn't seen a Mexican since Oregon so logically the food was just okay. Kai's elote was likely made from a frozen corn on the cob which is crazy talk because we've passed at least 1000 corn fields on this trip. Anyway, enough bitching- it makes me sound like a food snob, like someone who would refer to themselves as a "foodie" and that, I'm not. I just like to eat legit. 







We never ended up going on a ghost tour or pub crawl but just walked the city streets solo, reading plaques and attempting to scare each other. Lindsay and I won the scare-a-thon and we were so proud of ourselves, but also terrified for the repercussions. The boys turned left about a block ahead of us, so we ducked into an alley running as fast as we could to gain a block on them. We found a perfect bush to hide behind and as I peered out I saw Brandon and Kai a block back hiding in a bush attempting to scare US!!! I called Kai on his cell to lure them forward, "Hey where are you guys? Linds and I are up by the theater.. are you close?" They fell right into our trap, as we heard them around the bush, "How the hell did the girls get way up there? How'd they get that far ahead..." "RRRRRRAAAARR!!!!!" Lindsay and I pounced on the unsuspecting boys like tigers. Brandon's face looked completely tortured and Kai reflexively went into a karate pose, a little half kick with jazz hands and a grunt. Oh man, we got those guys so freaking good it was amazing. I only wish that I wouldve thought ahead and captured it on video. 

Big Wheels Keep on Turnin'




We had an excellent breakfast outdoors with almost all of our food smothered in Hollandaise. We left on foot to see some more of the riverfront in the day light and hopped on the free ferry which took us up and down river with dolphins at the lead. It was much cooler that day and much more tolerable for walking the city. Later we traveled out of the city center to get a low country boil, seafood, potatoes and sausage all boiled in Cajun seasoning and butter. Best meal of the trip, a lot more work than I personally like to put in to eat a meal, but it was worth it! That night we were all Savannah urban hipstered out and decided to go see a movie. The new film "Drive" with nimnard Ryan Gosling had just come out, so I begrudgingly went to appease Kai and Brandon. We sat through the 1.5 hour long dog turd, my only saving grace was that we had smuggled beers into the theater. More fun was the drive home in which Brandon put on a Scorpion embroidered race jacket and drove the Cobalt like a rental, which it was. We Tokyo drifted all the way back to the Thunderbird Motel while expressing our hate for Metacritic and Rotten Tomatoes for fooling us into seeing "Drive". Back in our room we planned our attack on Florida and made an executive decision to do Busch Gardens over some of the other theme parks in Florida.

Add caption


Low Country Boil


Happy Husband


Next up... jungle camping.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Gettin' Rebellion at the Scrip Club...


Here are my notes of things I remember from Charlotte:

Meeting Pam's parents- extremely hospitable, less huggy-kissy as the Roanoke parent counterparts, but lovely, gave us beer and snacks

At the bar with Jason's friends, suggestions flow for dance clubs in Charlotte near our Motel 6

We end up at a strip club where dancers can isolate their ass cheeks independently to the beat of the music and balance on wrought iron fences

Website Promo for Men's Club

Back at motel we notice blood on bedspread, Brandon's toenail split from dancing too violently in car ride home


Bar in downtown Charlotte where I am embarrassingly mistaken for a cocktail waitress but in turn attempt to gain employment from the vice president of a Chicago based medical sales company  




Meet Jason and friend, Savan, at Lake Norman for boat day. Swim in bath like lake, jump on rope swing, and drink beer while using life vests as "diaper" floatation seats

Truckster needs new thermostat. The boys install thermostat in the parking lot of Charlotte Motel 6 while leaking anti-freeze all over parking lot after we've checked out of room

Lindsay and me at local Carquest picking up gasket and silicone 




Back at the Motel 6, boys have installed thermostat 3 times to no avail. Agree to drive it to auto-shop to have it done

Arrive at shop, no leaks, 3rd times a charm. 4 hours later, ready to get on the road to Charleston

100s of ants in van due to boys laying engine parts in grass and then in van while working on engine. Ants in bathroom, floor, ceiling, cupboards, fridge and toilet

Lindsay and I at Galaxy Grocery, only white people in the store in search of ant killer spray and traps

Set traps and spray van. On road to Charleston